I'm officially IN MY THIRTIES

So hey guys, I know some of you are still out there and since today is my 31st birthday I feel I can ask something from you. Come follow me at my current location. I'm here. Click here to see it on bloglovin'. Unless you never want to see these faces again...

...and we all know that's not the case! :)

I have a statcounter on this blog and it says that 20-30 people a day are still coming here. Nobody blogs here anymore. If you want to find me I'm here: 

A Blog About A Nova

Corduroy pillows are making headlines: bad jokes and links. Together at last.

affirmations via Rookie

---

This is going to be my final post over here at dumb old Glitter and Doom. I've got a shiny new wordpress site that's guaranteed to ... be pretty much the same. It's got a bit of a different look but I've imported everything from this blog AND the old blog Four Eyes Rella too. Very fancy. So be sure to check out the archives. You know, if you're into that kind of thing.

I'm very busy trying to understand how Disqus works with wordpress, tagging things appropriately and trying to resize photos. Although I may just give up on the photos, it's like 1500 blog posts. So. Yeah I've been doing this a while.  The point is, it's kind of bare bones right now but I can't wait much longer to start posting new stuff over there, so let's just get this show on the road.

Here's this thing, click it if you'd like to follow A Blog About A Nova with bloglovin'.

Oh and if you want to unfollow the bloglovin' feed for this blog, click here and hit unfollow. Easy!

 And here's a plain old link to my new blog for if you don't like bloglovin'. 

 HERE

I really like each and every one of you and hope to see you over there. But if not, no hard feelings! I unfollow people all the time, especially when there's such an easy opportunity to just not re-up. So bla bla bla maybe I'll see you later.

Here are your links and jokes.

BAD JOKE #1: Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Homo vs. hetero, some wisdom from Matt Groening circa 1983. (comic)

This brooch set is so awesome. Yeah I'm a hundred. (Etsy) I also like this campfire brooch.

Now that's my kind of butterfly! (comic)

Ah, Canadian Netflix. Why do you suck so bad? (poorly laid out meme)

BAD JOKE #2: A polar bear walks into a shop. He goes up to order and says "Hi, can I get a fish and..." he trails off, waits for a moment, and says "chips." The guy at the counter asks "what's with the big pause?" Polar bear says, "Oh, these? I was born with them."

Linguists identify 15,000 year old "ultraconserved words". (article)

Evenly spaced birds. (image)

This princess will not need rescuing. (blog post)

Walrus getting fresh. (gif)

BAD JOKE #3: How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles.

Amazing photo of a polar bear and the story of the dentist photographer who took it. Do not try this at home. I think he is crazy taking a risk like this...everybody thinks they're special and wild animals won't harm them ... until they do. Remember the grizzly man documentary? (article)

The Great Gatsby obsessive trailer analysis. (blog post)

The 7 dwarves, painted realistically. (images)

Six health questions to ask your mom. (article)

BAD JOKE #4:  What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

Some tips to make cooking easier and faster. As a lazy person I can appreciate these. (article)

Musical chairs, choosing the right seat. (article)

Kurt Cobain, Frances Bean and a kitty. (photo)

The joy of accounting. I'm still not convinced, lol. (blog post)

BAD JOKE #5:  What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows.

Why I'm terrible at cooking, featuring maggot-gate. (blog post)

If I were a baker, like, at all, I would make cakes that said swear words. (recipe)

The secret behind Oreo's social media marketing. (article) I love the kit kat twitter war.

I won't give Zach Braff one dime. (blog post)

BAD JOKE #6:  What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth Hurty.

Torture techniques of the Spanish Inquisition. It's exactly what it sounds like, not for the faint of heart. One time I went to a "witch museum" in Mexico City and actually saw a lot of these devices. Yup. (article)

This guy is just so happy to say good morning to people. (video)

This wedding is so nerdy but so nicely styled at the same time. (photos)

The case of the missing 's' - fashion industry and grammar defying jargon. (blog post)

BAD JOKE #7:  What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

All the different types of selfies. I usually do the "artistic half-face" and the "I didn't take this one" poses. (blog post)

An interview with Omit, a child who lives in a slum in India. (blog post)

Animal moms (photos)

On "thanking god" for the escape of the 3 girls who were held captive for a decade. This is kind of how I feel as well. (image)

BAD JOKE #8:  Why did I get a job at a bakery? Because I kneaded the dough.

What are giant spoilers on the back of cars even for? (photo)

A facebook update in real life. (video)

The Worst Room. A tumblr of one person's search to find a livable space in NYC...it's almost impossible to believe what people are charging for a mattress in a windowless storage closet. *almost* (blog)

I want to find something like this! (photos)

BAD JOKE #9:  What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.

The word "orange", to describe the color, actually changed from geoluhread or "yellow red" when English speakers met the fruit for the first time. (wikipedia - not the best source but I've heard this in linguistics classes before as well so I'm pretty sure it's true)

Have you heard about the Mayan pyramids being bulldozed in Belize ... to make roads with? (article)

Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World. (article)

Garbage girls. Slobs in their natural environment. (photos/interviews)

BAD JOKE #10:  The Dalai Lama, while visiting Italy, wanders into a pizzeria. The guy making the pizza says "Buongiorno sir! What can I get you?" The Dalai Lama replies "I will try your pizza, please." The pizza-man, excited to serve such a high-profile customer, replies "Let me make you a special pie. What kind of toppings do you like?" The Dalai Lama replies "Make me one with everything."

PRINCESS MONSTER, THE CAT WITH AN UNDERBITE (animal!)

Check it out, a photographer found remains of a Star Wars movie set in a desert in Tunisia! (photos)

How to get off the blogging bandwagon. (blog post)

I would wear the shit out of this shirt, especially on the bus. (ETSY)

BAD JOKE(s) #11:  What did zero say to eight? Nice belt. What did O say to Q? Dude, put that thing away! Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender. (or because seven ate nine)

Every every every generation has been a me me me generation. (article)

Ernie and Burt as thugs. (image)

From Dante to Dan Brown: 10 things about Hell. (article)

Teaching evil to Norwegians. (article)

BAD JOKE #12: Q: What's E.T. short for? A: He's only got little legs.

How to fake confidence. (comic)

Linguistics nerd t-shirt design. (image)

A comic drawn in reaction to what people are saying about Angelina Jolie's decision to get a double mastectomy. Spot on. (comic)

Check out what Kristin's life is like in the Pratyasha Foundation, feeding children in slums. (blog post)

BAD JOKE #13:  There are two fish in a tank. One looks at the other and says "do you have any idea how to drive this thing?"

Tattoos inspired by books. I wouldn't call them "incredible" but they're cute. (photos)

How to share your cause or beliefs without being a total jerk. (blog post)

Canadian anti-piracy outfit pirates photos for their website. (article)

You are filled with the devil's colors. Noa expresses my exact feelings about printers. (blog post)

BAD JOKE #14:  Working as an elevator operator has its ups and downs.

WTF? Is this a real notice? (photo)

5 tips for lightning-fast decision making. (blog post)

How panhandlers use free credit cards. (article)

Cat gets scared of a couple lizards. (video)

BAD JOKE #15:  You didn't hear about the three big holes in the ground? Well, well, well..

Guy with a sense of humor and a missing foot. (photo)

I like reading Suzy's first impressions of New York City. (blog post)

Cormac McCarthy's The Road may have the scariest passage in all of literature. I was really disturbed by that part of the book too. (article)

An easy way to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit. (article)

BAD JOKE #16:  Have you heard the joke about the broken pencil...? Never mind it's pointless.

Bat's super long tongue powered by blood. (article and video)

Have you ever heard of the "amber room" before? (article)

Some "food" I found at Superstore the other day. Like how I ever so subtly linked my new blog here? (photos)

Analyzing the language of suicide notes to help save lives. (article/podcast)

BAD JOKE #17: What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Super scary banana peel. (gif)

Stephen Fry on language. (video)

Jennifer explains some Southern idioms. (blog post)

Charlie Chaplin without makeup. (photos)

BAD JOKE #18: What's brown and rhymes with "snoop"? Dr. Dre.  


This is beautiful. (photo)

Inside the world of vapers, the subculture that may save smokers' lives. (article)

You've probably already seen the awesomest couple ever end up singing karaoke in a prank "gas station news" video. But if not, here it is. "dance break" lol. (video)

The guy in this picture says the octopus was "very friendly" ... but it was also "very strong and sly" and trying to "draw his hand towards his beak". I, for one, think this is terrifying. (photo)

BAD JOKE #19: Where does the General keep his armies?? IN HIS SLEEVIES!

Animal penises are super weird. Probably NSFW, and kind of disturbing. (article)

Bald Eagle steals a fish right off a guy's fishing line. (video)

The ultimate cat lady. (gif)

Here's a photo of Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield, coolest astronaut ever, and a sphere of water. (photo) Oh and here he is singing Space Oddity. In Space. (video)

BAD JOKE #20:  Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

I want to see a cross-stitch pattern like this. (image)

Jeff Bliss, a high school student with glorious hair, tells his teacher off as he's being kicked out of class. And you know what, he's totally right. (video)

To combat sexism and violence we don't need sensitivity training, we need leadership training. (video) (19+ minutes)

Oh boy East coast, the cicadas are coming. Brood II is about to emerge.  (video)

BAD JOKE #21:  Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

25 vintage photos of librarians being awesome. (photos)

Canada sells out science. BOO-URNS (blog post)

The new Michael J. Fox sitcom looks hilarious! (video)

A few reading lists by other bloggers: one, two, and three. 

BAD JOKE #22:  I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery. I've had it right up to here with them.

Thanks Kaylah
Thanks Clare
Thanks Desiree
Thanks Kellie
Thanks Belle
Thanks Courtney


All these bad jokes were via this reddit thread. and this twitter account. Thanks guys! lol

from yesterday

It was cool of them to call back and apologize! We all had a good laugh afterwards.

oh tank

The fourth one makes me laugh, I've never seen that face before.

composite post - walking to work in photos