I haven't mentioned the bus in a long time here, and you guys, I'm still taking it and hating every second of it. Except my conversations with 'grandpa', he's awesome.
Those of you who follow me on instagram know that I've been experimenting with sitting "like a man" on the bus. Meaning not crossing my legs or otherwise minimizing the space I take up "like a lady".
No that is not my own spit I'm stepping in. People are disgusting.
I decided to try this because I kept finding that everyone, and I mean fat men in sweatpants, little old ladies with shopping bags, business men in suits with briefcases, absolutely everyone who sat beside me ended up taking more than their half of the two seats. There's an actual visible line down the middle and they would always cross it with me.
So I began to study other bus passengers, especially those that were passed by when people were looking for a seat on a nearly full bus. Usually they were younger guys, and usually they were intimidating looking. But what made them intimidating? Not exactly the way they looked or dressed or anything like that. Really, it was just the vibe they were putting out.
They all seemed to sit with their legs this way, sometimes with their arm draped over the back of the other seat as well. (I don't do the arm thing, haha). Chest open (no crossed arms), nonchalant look on their face, no fucks given. And I thought "What the hell, I'm going to try this."
So all I've been doing is taking up the space that is rightfully mine. That air bubble around my seat belongs to me. I don't shuffle over as far away as I can from the other passenger as they sit down anymore. I hold my ground. If they want to sit leg to leg that's their problem. Nobody's bags are ending up in my lap. Nobody's elbows are in my ribs. All I do is not let people push me around, basically.
Here's the thing: it TOTALLY WORKS. It still feels unnatural, and I haven't tried it in a skirt or anything either, but I feel like it was a successful experiment and a total case of fake it 'til you make it.
Do you guys have any other tips on weird social cues that I can try out?